w_ekeepsmethin

Welcome Back Anna,

Why Hello There, you have been gone for a while

Just long enough for me to once again smile

You thought I was better, and so did I

But now that you’re back and stricter than ever, I have nothing left to do but cry

Controlling is what your good at and I think that’s what I need

Then it gets scary it’s my body, my greed

 I say I want to be beautiful, turn my body over to you

But the challenges I am given to accomplish are not worth the argue

So I write what I feel and Feel what I write

In hopes that this expression with ease my pain tonight.

Today I am nothing

As I wake up I can see

There is nothing I can do

I am not what you want me to be

It’s just not that simple

I’m tired of being your slave

Time to live on my own

But I don’t know if I can be so brave

& tomorrow I will be nothing

Unless I can learn to be strong

If I could just get the courage

To explain why you’re wrong

I do want to be someone

In this world full of surprises

But I must figure out how

To let go of my disguises

Today I am something

I proved them all wrong

Finally overcame the many challenges

That had taken me so long

To show my true self

Express the real me

It was a long journey

But the end result is beautiful you see

The pain that I feel

Is hard to express

I can lay down at night

But I surely cannot rest

Thoughts running through my head

My mind does not relax

It’s caught in a whirlwind

Lost in my own tracks

I feel lonely

Have I made the right choice?

I’m embarrassed to talk

Trying to find my hidden voice

And will you be there for me?

Or will I stand alone?

When I finally get up the courage

Will you answer the phone?

Can we talk for hours?

Until I fall asleep

Help ease my body to rest  

When the pain feels too deep

If you can do these things

Everything will surely be fine

Nothing else will matter  

Because you will be mine

I don’t want attention

I just don’t feel pretty

Tired of my flaws

This disease makes me feel so small

I could feel ugly

I could sit in my room and cry

But they would never know it

Because I can always lie

&& I can do this

I do it very well

One calorie here

But two makes me go through Hell

And when I wake up in the morning

I hate myself a little less

When that scale goes down 

I don’t want to confess

I say I don’t want help

I have it under control

You’re the only one that knows

With you my trust grows

And when I’m upset

You tell me not to cry  

And when I haven’t eaten 

You know... I don’t even bother to lie

You’re like a mom to me

I feel safe when you’re around

You’re the first person I could trust

Never letting my head hit the ground

So if I can trust you

Then I’ll be alright

We can talk

I don’t have to cry tonight

And I’m growing up

I’ll be on my way soon

I won’t be scared

But I’ll be light as a Balloon

At first I saw you as harmless

Just something to make me beautiful

But then as I would reach a goal

I knew that I could do better

With little achievements comes a little hope

That I could some day look like her

Id run for miles if that’s what it takes

Its her body I’d prefer

But as my battle wears on

I realize that ive been sucked in

And tomorrow will be the same.. like im starting today again

I cant seem to stop this madness

I just want to be pretty..

I hate the way I look

And gag when I walk by a mirror

Why cant I just be happy

Is a question I ask myself everyday

I don’t want help but you know the truth

And you check on me every day

It may get annoying but I no later it because you care

I no for a fact that youll always be there

You’re the only one who I have ever felt comfortable with

And I sort of don’t mind that you no

At first I was embarrassed and afraid what you might think

But you wiped away my tears

And give me hope that this problem could shrink

Im glad that I can trust you

But people are starting to wonder

Though I no theres always that chance

Because this is a game..

Where im fighting for my last dance

And during it ill be beautiful

I don’t care what they say

I hope to love myself eventually

But that love seems so far away